Can We Please Stop Reracialising Society?

There are many terrible ideas we should never ever revisit: communism, fascism, racial segregation, the mullet. But as we all know human beings are idiots doomed to repeat the same mistakes over and over creating more and more misery and suffering. But that’s enough about the mullet. There’s something worse:

We now have a new generation of idiots who think it’s a good idea to separate people on the grounds of race. Because as we all know Martin Luther King’s ideas were trash and most disgustingly of all he was a cis heterosexual man with internalised whiteness. Which means he was one step up from the KKK and practically Hitler.

Most of the idiots who support these ideas are communists and in a few years will probably be marching through the streets brandishing placards saying things like “Nelson Mandela was a coconut” and “real apartheid has never been tried”. Finally something progressives and the far right agree on. That and the fact that they don’t like Jews.

Before long they’ll create a new political movement that moulds socialism with nationalism. Call it the “ Nationalist Socialist” party and unleash it on the political landscape. What could go wrong?

Like all terrible ideas this demented approach to race relations started on university campuses. At MIT in 1975 a black only dorm was created that was called Chocolate City. Now let’s ignore the fact that “Chocolate City” sounds like a genre of porn films made for the gentleman who enjoys the darker lady.

That or a theme park frequented only by fat people. I can imagine a whole troupe of fat women descending on chocolate city and being profoundly disappointed by what they found.

The men of Chocolate City on the other hand would be delighted as they love a larger lady even more than arriving a couple of hours late to a scheduled appointment.

But the most demented thing about chocolate city is the description of the dorm.

“Chocolate City is a brotherhood of MIT students and alumni who identify with urban culture and share common backgrounds, interests, ethnicities, and/or experiences.”

Every rich white boy who grows up in an affluent suburb identifies with urban culture. Probably far more than the black boys living in those estates, who don’t like the fact that they have to live there and just want to get the hell out.

But this word salad is used to justify racial segregation. And we’re starting to see other places embrace this idea.

A London theatre recently announced they were going to host a couple of performances of “Slave Play” for “black identifying audiences”.

What does “black identifying” even mean? If I identify as black, wIll I be let in? Will Rachel Dolezal be allowed to attend? What happens if I get a tan and perm my hair? Is that offensive or will it make my transition more authentic. And if I become black will that mean I’ll be allowed to sing along to “Niggaz In Paris” without being cancelled?

It’s all incredibly confusing.

The director of the play, Jeremy O Harris, who identifies as both black and retarded says that working class and black people need to be “radically invited” into the theatre.

Unless you’re white and working class in which case you can piss off, pay full whack for ticket prices as white privilege means that you’ve got more disposable income than Meghan Markle when she first got her hands on Harry’s credit card.

What these people never seem to understand is that when you begin to segregate people into racial groups it never ends well. No one has ever said the words “Ever since that country started implementing racial segregation life has got so much better.”

There’s a reason we study history. It’s so we can judge historical figures using the standards of the present day and destroy their legacy. Then we throw their statue into the river, burn their books and slash their paintings. It’s the only way to stop facism!

But the other reason we study history is so we don’t repeat the mistakes of the past.

The great thing about our education system is that we’re producing a whole generation of people who can’t read let alone understand history and that means we’ve got a brave new world of insanity awaiting us.

Because if you think the way to make the arts accessible for low income groups is to racially segregate then I hate to think how you’re going to solve the really complex problems in society.

Maybe we combat climate change by throwing soup at priceless works of art, bring peace to the Middle East by embracing radical Islam or stop sexual violence by suggesting men should be forced to live under a curfew.

Hang on, we’ve already done all of those things. Although the Green Party peer who dreamt up the curfew idea admitted she was “not being altogether serious”. Proof that vegans aren’t, never have been and never will be funny. When you’re that deficient in nutrients the last thing you’re able to do is come up with witty jokes. Because you’ve used all your energy on being self righteous.

And that’s how we’ve got ourselves in this mess. Everyone wants to show that they’re doing “the right thing”. It doesn’t actually matter if what you’re doing is incredibly destructive. All that’s important is how you’re perceived. Perception is everything and if you’re reintroducing apartheid then who cares as long as liberals think you’re cool? Because that’s what really counts.

Anyway I’m off to attend a support group called “Perverts for Palestine”. Where members of an oppressed community meet up to swap hard drives and discuss how wearing latex fetish gear in public helps stop the genocide.