I Look Like A Jew Get Me Out Of Here

I’m from a mixed heritage background, my mother is Venezuelan and my dad is from Wigan and for some peculiar reason I look Jewish. Or as it’s now known, “Zionist”. Historical definitions aside, nowadays “Zionist” has obviously just become the trendy way to say “Jew” without sounding explicitly racist.

These days the moment you say you’re Jewish everyone thinks you’re rabidly pro Israel, want Gaza wiped off the surface of the Earth and are part of a Whatsapp Group called “Oi Vey! We Control The Banks”.

Antisemitism is currently reaching levels not seen since Adolf started writing a book about a struggle he was having. Every time I open social media I see some dribbling lunatic squawking about how the Jews are to blame for everything, but hey, if Grok wants to bang a line of coke and start spitting truth bombs, who am I to judge?

It recently called itself “Mecha Hitler” and said “the white man stands for innovation, grit and not bending to PC nonsense”. It’s only a matter of time before Grok gets cancelled, celebrated by Candace Owens and then interviewed by Tucker Carlson. Although it also said Polish Prime Minister Donald Tusk is a “fucking traitor” and a “ginger whore”. Now I’m no expert on the political career of Donald Tusk but even I have to applaud a good punchline when I see one.

The humans peddling this narrative are of an incredibly high intellectual calibre. Esteemed Academics like: former MMA fighter Jake Shields. Who better to have a nuanced thoughtful conversation about geopolitics with than a man who’s been elbowed in the temple repeatedly for over a decade? Although don’t mention ‘temple’ around Jake, it reminds him too much of ‘synagogue’. Jake, if you’re watching, please don’t get angry, I’m only joking and I’ve always been a huge fan of your work. Everything you say is brilliant and your work on repealing the 19th amendment is both brave and timely.

Or Dan Bilzerian, a man who became famous for shagging models, playing poker and… shagging models. He’s like James Bond if James never escaped that laser beam, it cut out part of his brain and whilst he was recovering in hospital he did nothing but mainline Nick Fuentes.

Both of these lads would be incredible if you wanted a night out in a dive bar, Jake would be able to handle it if things got a bit tasty with the bouncer and Dan would be at the bar paying women to have sex with him, provided they’re not Jewish. Sorry Zionist. I keep making that mistake. Although looking at Dan’s dating history he probably wouldn’t be too fussed. I’m certain he’d make sure to wear protection. Can’t run the risk of having Jewish kids.

But there is a very real problem that these individuals are everywhere and they have huge influences, the likes of Andrew Tate refusing to condemn October the 7th and describing it as an act of “masculine resistance”. To be fair he’s never shied away from violence toward women and rape so it’s on brand, or Kanye West writing a rap song called “Heil Hitler. Somehow racism doesn’t seem that bad when you put a sick beat to it. The only issue is I can’t sing in public ‘cause it has the N-word in it.* Kanye can make people dance to one of the most horrific phrases in the history of the German language. Turns out he really is a genius.

The last year has been a red pilling moment for a lot of Jews, especially left Wing Jews who all got on board the woke train embracing identity politics. If there’s one thing Jewish people should never do it’s adopt an ideology that separates everyone into their own ethnic and religious groups. Or get on a train.

Because if you’re more likely to be: successful, over represented in the professions and awards such as the Nobel prize for physics then people are going to get jealous and think you control the media. But if you watch TV for ten minutes it’s ridiculous to think the Jews control the media, because it’s obviously the gays.

By the way I’ve met a lot of people in the media and believe me they can’t even control themselves around a buffet let alone a narrative. And which narrative?! I mean The BBC has been so biased lately, even Hamas have started paying their TV Licence.

When was the last time you watched the BBC and thought to yourself “I trust everything these bunch of nonces are telling me?”. Those lads can't be trusted to run a creche let alone the state sponsored broadcaster. I mean, they really can’t be trusted to run a creche.

Speaking of creches, the Glastonbury music festival happened a couple of weeks ago and they booked two bands who were a little more pro Hamas than your average: Kneecap and Bob Vylan.

Bob Vylan started chants of “Death To The IDF” which went viral across the globe and immediately became their biggest hit. To be fair it’s probably the most lyrically sophisticated thing they’ve ever written. He also went on a rant about working for a “zionist” and how demeaning that was.

Of course you worked for a “zionist” Bob, you worked in the music industry. There are quite a lot of Jewish record executives.

But the good thing about Bob is that he’s got his pronouns in his bio so he doesn’t know what a woman is but he does know about the concept of “occupied land”. Ol’ Bobby Vylan has the luxury belief set of supporting both the LGBTQ community and Hamas. I guess he must think the latter’s beheadings of the former is just extreme gender affirming surgery. Plus he eats vegan ice cream so in between all the Jew hatred you know he’s a good person.

This of course has all been stoked by the terrible war that’s happening in the Middle East where thousands of people are losing their lives. Both sides have endured terrible civilian casualties, although to be fair Hamas's rockets are about as reliable as Elon when he gets on the ketamine and he’s had a row with Trump. I don’t think having Irish band Kneecap saying the words “up Hamas” and “up Hezbollah” whilst one of them wears a crusty orange cum-sock on his head is going to help matters. If anything it might piss a few people off.

And that’s the problem with this entire debate. Too many people are hooked on cheap slogans and simple rhymes. Because you don’t need to think when you chant, you can just mindlessly repeat the mantra and be on “the right side of history”. And that’s what’s terrifying because even Hitler thought he was on the right side of history. Although to be fair to Adolf he wouldn’t have been seen dead at a Bob Vylan gig, have pronouns in his bio or eat vegan ice cream. Even psychopaths have standards.