Politicians Aren’t Your Friends

On Wednesday, America awoke to news of a landslide victory for Donald Trump. Republicans whooped with joy, and the millions who voted for Trump - having been vilified and belittled for so long - finally felt their voices vindicated.

The Democrats slumped in despair, pontificated about the ‘dark times’ ahead, and started looking around for who to blame (anyone but themselves). With the strong electoral mandate that Trump now has, many of the so-called progressive strides taken under the Biden / Harris administration are set to be duly reversed.  

Does this matter? Of course it does. Politics has always mattered, and always will; to pretend otherwise is facile and juvenile. An election is a consequential event that can change the fate and fortune of a nation. 

However, when it comes to our individual lives and wellbeing, politics can be of very little consequence at all.    

Put down the phone. Tear those frazzled eyeballs away from that grimy screen for just thirty seconds. I know it’s difficult to disengage from such concise and sparky prose - but seriously, take a deep breath, close your eyes, and think about the things in your life that truly matter.  

How many of you are honestly thinking about Kamala Harris, Donald Trump, Joe Biden (may he rest in peace), J.D. Vance or any of the rest of them?  

I’d bet you’re thinking about your family, your friends, the community you’re part of. These are the people that matter above all. The ones who are really there for you. A politician will never give you a hug after a dreadful day at work. A politician won’t nod sympathetically as you vent about the pencil-pushing prick who gave you a parking ticket. A politician won’t drive you to the hospital, to receive the results of that scan you’ve been dreading.  

When real life happens, and we're faced with the terrible yet ordinary tragedies that afflict us all (be they illnesses, bereavements, job losses or England losing the Euros final yet again) - that's when you see what’s truly important. Not politicians or podcasters (except for me, of course) but the connection we have with our loved ones.   

Which is why it's so very disheartening when political disagreements destroy personal relationships.‘Pro-Trump’, ‘anti-Trump’, ‘pro-life’, ‘pro-choice’ - these low-resolution terms can't possibly encompass the complexity of human thought. Yet they're increasingly the reason that friendships end, couples divorce and families become estranged. What a waste. 

None of us are perfect, or perfectly informed. We are all flawed and vulnerable. In a way, that’s what it means to be human. We navigate the unfamiliar territory of life, trying to make the best decisions we can and frequently getting it wrong (sometimes very wrong, like when I told a liberal woman on a date that I’d been on Joe Rogan’s podcast; she looked at me like I’d just shown her a sex tape of Trump and Stormy Daniels, and the date was quickly concluded).

But many of us have completely forgotten this inherent imperfection. It’s always a painful experience scrolling through your phone and coming across an old message from a friend you no longer speak to. The bitterness and regret of an unresolved argument leaves a permanent aftertaste - and it always seems to be more toxic when politics is involved. I sometimes find myself hovering over the name of an old friend, or starting to type out a message to them, before I realise that what made that friendship special (trust, loyalty, empathy) is long gone.

I also realise how pathetic and trivial most of the arguments in question were. Things said in the heat of the moment that you didn’t even truly mean or believe, but that you clung to out of stubbornness, anger and insecurity. The satisfaction I may have gotten from winning the argument means nothing to me now. I don’t miss that feeling. But I do miss my absent friends. Each represents one less person I can turn to when life gets scary and stressful, and each is worth more than all the political point-scoring in the world.