Am I A Grifter?

There’s a guy I know who I used to be good friends with. We hung out together, gigged together, wrote material together, and even briefly lived together. It was one of those friendships that seemed ironclad and unbreakable.

Though I still have his number in my phone, that friendship is sadly no more. And what’s even sadder is the reason: politics. When the woke train pulled up at the station, he got aboard. Pronouns in bio, gender is a social construct, Trump is the new Hitler; the whole shebang. I, on the other hand… Well, let’s just say I missed that particular train.

I disagree with this person on a profound, almost visceral level. But I can also say - with absolute honesty - that he’s entitled to his views, and that I don’t think he’s a bad person for holding them. We’re all a mix of nature and nurture. Our different experiences and predispositions cause us to end up in different places, that’s just life. But friendships should transcend those differences, not be defined by them.

Sadly, I’m now very much in the minority for thinking this. In fact, I question whether I’m just stubbornly holding on to a completely naive, utopian ideal. Because according to this former friend and many others, my political stances do matter. Since I’m now a “right-wing grifter”, friendship is out of the question.

Politics has invaded the personal sphere, and that’s a tragedy. Because the last thing we need is yet another reason to be divided. We are already an incredibly atomised society. The old social norms that encouraged community and togetherness - family, religion, even saying hello to your neighbours - have been weakened and degraded. This is down to a number of factors, not least among them mass immigration - which, particularly in cities, has led to a more fragmented, less cohesive society. In a healthy democracy, disagreement and a plurality of views are completely normal things. But that’s not what we have in Britain today. Instead, we have factions - uncompromising, absolutist, and always at each other’s throats.

All of this has turbo-charged a massive increase in loneliness, particularly among men.¹ And something we often forget is that loneliness is fatal. I’m not exaggerating - there is a wealth of evidence that loneliness and social isolation significantly increase the risk of premature death.² On the flipside, strong and supportive relationships are among the most powerful contributors to a long, healthy life.³ When you drop friends over political differences, it might feel good in the short term. You get to feel morally superior, more enlightened, more hip. But in sacrificing a friendship, you’re hurting yourself far more than you know.

I often find myself scrolling through my contacts, seeing the names of people I no longer talk to. But as I mourn these lost connections, I have to acknowledge my own culpability. I co-founded a YouTube channel that was bound to rub some people the wrong way. Our subject matter is often political, and often provocative. And like all human beings, I’ve got things wrong. At times I’ve been crude, blunt and insensitive.

But I want to address, once and for all, this idea that I’m a ‘grifter’. That I’m purposefully trying to divide society to make a quick buck. That if Triggernometry and similar channels didn’t exist, society would be harmonious and everybody would get on.

I’m sorry, but that is weapons-grade nonsense. Channels like ours are not creating division - they’re trying to understand it, and come to terms with it. We live in a world where information can spread and proliferate in the blink of an eye. All kinds of good and bad ideas are bouncing around the ether, and the idea that you can go on the internet and avoid seeing anything offensive or controversial is absurd. And if I’ve learned one thing, it’s this: censoring or suppressing a person or viewpoint you disagree with does nothing but make it stronger, and in some cases more dangerous.

Big Tech has tried every method to silence Andrew Tate, yet studies have indicated he’s more popular than ever.⁴ I recently recorded a series of street interviews with Gen-Zers (link below)⁵ where most of them openly expressed support and admiration for him. Similarly, the British political elite has spent a solid decade labelling anyone with concerns about immigration as “far right” and “fascist”. All that’s done is massively weaken the legitimacy of our institutions, and give the more extreme voices in this debate more credibility. There are thousands more examples scattered throughout history. Censorship is simply a losing tactic.

So, when you can’t censor or suppress an idea you don’t like, what do you do? Well, you have to contend with it. You have to engage with it. You have to be brave enough to listen, and smart enough to respond. These are all tough things to do, which is exactly why successive governments haven’t bothered.

The nature of information has changed, permanently. Gone are the days when you can simply ignore crazy ideas or de-platform undesirable people. The only way forward is to engage. And that’s what we’ll continue to do on Triggernometry. We’ll be a space where the Left, the Right and everyone in between can express their views and have them challenged, robustly and fairly. We won’t be perfect, because nothing is. But we’ll try our best, and stay committed to the most crucial principle there is: freedom of speech.

And if all that makes me a grifter, so be it.

1. A University of Bristol study found that loneliness among older men has surged, and is estimated to affect around 2 million over-50s by 2025/26, up from 1.4 million in 2016/17 - a 49% increase over 10 years. Men consistently reported more loneliness than women at every age level - https://www.bristol.ac.uk/news/2019/april/older-men-loneliness.html

2. A meta-analysis of 90 cohort studies, covering over 2.2 million individuals, found that social isolation increases all-cause mortality by 32%, while loneliness raises it by 14% - https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37337095/

3. A meta-analysis of 148 studies revealed that people with good social relationships had a 50% greater likelihood of survival, an effect comparable to quitting smoking and exceeding many other risk factors - https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2910600/

4. Nearly half of young men like Andrew Tate, extremism tsar warns - https://www.thetimes.com/uk/politics/article/nearly-half-of-young-men-like-andrew-tate-extremism-tsar-warns-0mb9cfhcm

5. Street Interviews with Gen-Z