Notes From Nonce Island

Welcome to the UK. Europe’s answer to Venezuela where the weather’s atrocious, nothing works and everyone in power is a paedophile. Look, that’s an exaggeration. Not everyone’s a paedophile. Some of them are merely best friends with them.

And this goes right the way to the top. Take King Charles the 3rd; polo player, homopath, and best mates with Jimmy Saville - t the most notorious sex offender of them all

Now to call Jimmy a common or garden nonce is highly offensive. Jimmy, before the BBC adopted the same policy , was pro-diversity. Which means everyone was at risk. He was ahead of his time.

The best piece of content that the BBC ever released was a documentary about their former golden boy in which every BBC exec said they had no idea what was going on even though a lot of his crimes happened in their studios. The fact that those lads were able to keep a straight face whilst saying that nonsense to camera would make even Kier Starmer blush.

Jimmy became an unofficial advisor to His Majesty, counselling the then-Prince on media, PR and public engagements. Maybe he should’ve advised him on what to do with his: fat, sweatless nonce of a brother. In many ways Andrew is worse than Saville. Jimmy raised millions of pounds for spinal charities. The only thing Andrew’s ever raised is his blood pressure when he’s near a school.

And how can I mention Andrew without talking about his arrest? They nicked him on his 66th birthday. It’s moments like this that made me think BLM were correct with their “Defund the police” rhetoric. Can’t a prolific sex offender enjoy a slice of birthday cake and an aperol spritz without the police banging down his door demanding he face justice for his actions? Honestly it’s enough for me to slap ‘ACAB’ in my Twitter bio.. For the boomers watching that stand for “All Cops Are Bastards”. It was incredibly popular in 2020 with middle class people and the profoundly mentally ill.

They’ve arrested him on “suspicion of misconduct”. “Suspicion”? What do you mean by “suspicion”. Andrew even got photos taken of himself mid-nonce. Misconduct? That’s like arresting Charles Manson for being a bit “excessive”.

By the way, the only surprising thing about the Epstein Files is that Jeffrey was willing to spend time with someone as stupid as Andy. He’s so retarded he makes Prince Harry look like Jeffrey Epstein. Because whatever you think about Jeffrey, he wasn’t stupid. Prince Harry on the other hand got two A Levels and one of them was an E in art. He has the intellectual ability of a toe nail, which is unfair because toe nails at least have the capacity for growth.

Harry is in a weird position. His uncle is Britain’s most notorious pervert and yet everyone hates his wife more because she clearly pegs him if he’s been a bad boy.

Even the man reporting on the royal family, Huw Edwards (the BBC’s most esteemed news presenter) turned out to be a nonce.

By the way, “nonce” is prison slang standing for “Not On Normal Courtyard Exercise”.That’s right - the man who was reporting on the noncing was himself a nonce.. I’m surprised he wasn’t presenting and then running to the opposite end of the studio to give his own expert analysis,

Andrew wasn’t the only one who got arrested. Peter Mandelson, former Labour minister, by the way his title whilst he was in the Blair government was “minister without portfolio”. He was called that because he left it on Epstein’s Island. Mandy was arrested because he was described as a flight risk. Personally I think he was a flight risk the moment he stepped on Epstein’s plane but that’s just me.

His political career is now finished as is Keir Starmer’s. That’s the magic of the Epstein files. It has set off a chain of events that will now bring down the Labour government. Now, if someone can please release a file saying Zack Polanski was on the Lolita Express, we’d all be incredibly grateful.

And what’s left as a result of all these people being exposed?

Well the culture’s collapsing because we have no faith in our institutions because they’re so dodgy they make the catholic church look, well, like an ancient and noble institution filled with honest and pious men with totally typical sexual predilections.

The only thing we can do is enjoy it. After all, is there anything more beautiful than watching someone who used to be in a position of authority being dragged down to your level? Well it’s not really your level; you’ve never had a well paid government job in which you get to pretend you’re morally superior to the rest of us whilst secretly hanging out with the worst people in society and being responsible for some of the most heinous crimes known to humanity. But that’s enough about Tony Blair.

Until next time!